Secure (SA) Attachment Style


Securely attached individuals possess a deep-seated sense of self-worth and security, making them inherently stable and emotionally balanced. They usually form healthy, fulfilling relationships and handle challenges with resilience and calmness. While they are not immune to the ups and downs of life, they tend to recover from setbacks more quickly and effectively than others.

Common Communication Patterns

  • Open & Clear: Secure individuals are adept communicators, often expressing their feelings, needs, and concerns openly and without hesitation.
  • Active Listening: They are good listeners, making their partners feel heard and understood.
  • Conflict Resolution: They believe in addressing issues head-on and are skilled at navigating disagreements in a constructive manner, seeking resolutions that benefit all parties involved.

Common Core Wounds

  • While securely attached individuals can experience core wounds, they are usually situation-specific and less intense than those found in other attachment styles. Examples include:
  • Situation Specific: Feeling not good enough due to failing classes or feeling excluded in specific group settings.
  • Resilient Nature: Even when facing negative emotions such as grief or hurt, their recovery process is generally more rapid and constructive.
Book Now

Common Needs

  • Balance & Harmony: They seek a balanced life and harmonious relationships.
  • Peace: Inner peace and a calm environment are essential for their well-being.
  • Connection & Communication: They value genuine connections and effective communication in their relationships.

Relation to Boundaries

  • Clear Boundaries: Comfortable setting and respecting boundaries in relationships.
  • Mutual Respect: They expect their boundaries to be respected and, in turn, respect others' boundaries.
  • Healthy Negotiation: If boundary issues arise, they approach the situation with understanding and seek a compromise that suits both parties.

Dynamic with Other Attachment Styles

SA & FA: A relationship with a fearful avoidant might initially be challenging due to the FA's push-pull dynamics. However, the SA's stability can provide a grounding effect for the FA.

SA & DA: The SA might find it challenging to connect deeply with a dismissive avoidant initially, but their patience and consistent communication can bridge the gap.

SA & AP: The stable nature of an SA can provide a comforting presence for the anxious preoccupied, offering them a sense of security and validation.

SA & SA: Two securely attached individuals tend to have a stable, fulfilling, and harmonious relationship built on mutual respect, effective communication, and shared values.

Common "Super Powers"

  • Conflict Resolution: SAs excel at resolving disagreements in a manner that's beneficial to all parties.
  • Vulnerability: They are comfortable being vulnerable, promoting deeper connections.
  • Self-soothing: They have the ability to calm themselves down in stressful situations.
  • Needs Recognition & Action: They're adept at recognizing their own needs and ensuring they're met.
  • Support Seeking: While they are self-reliant, they aren't hesitant to seek support when needed, understanding the value of community and connection.
Share by: